GrayLove 016: I Had Cold Feet … Until I Gave Myself Permission to Let Him Love Me.
Most little girls dream of marriage and plan their perfect wedding years before they can even drive. They imagine Cinderella inspired ball gowns with a fairytale diamond ring to match. They dream of this magical love affair with their Prince being made official with the exchange of vows and an enchanted kiss. I was not like most girls. I never had healthy examples of marriage around to even muster up a desire to dream of it. This is why months before I walked down the aisle, I found myself with the biggest case of cold feet ever.
See, over the past 3 decades, I grew pretty comfortable in wearing my superwoman single woman cape. I knew how to do life by myself very well and even though I have been with my fiance for over 8 years, there was some solace in knowing that “technically” I am single and essentially I can do what I want.
I’ve always thought of marriage as Sacred, a union to be cherished, a forever commitment to do life with someone. it was one of those unattainable things that “would be nice if it happened to me” but I never gave it much thought.
But now it was happening and I was scared. Scared to allow someone to carry the cape that I had for so long wore with such pride.
This podcast is about my journey of tearing down those walls of fear. This episode is about me finally doing the work so that I can make room for a husband in my life. I had to give myself permission to fall back…. and let him love me.