Break-ups are hard. There is really no way around it. Either you are having a hard time because you were really attached to your ex or you are having a hard time because your ex won’t leave you alone or you are having a hard time because now you have to pack all this crap up and move or you are having a hard time because people just keep bringing the shit up when all you want to do is move on. No matter which angle you look it, there will be some level of difficulty to any break-up.  Figuring out how to get over a break up can add to your emotional stress so, we want to give you 5 tips to jump-start your glow up.

There are usually stages to a break-up. At some point during the process, you will feel hurt, empowered, sad, angry, ambivalent, nonchalant, and even happy or proud. The first step in moving toward your glow up is to recognize all of these emotions as valid and normal.  The order that these emotions surface is different for everyone. While it’s important to allow yourself time to grieve,  make sure you don’t sit in any negative emotional state for too long. In learning how to get over a break up, the goal of moving forward should be at the forefront of your priority list.

How To Get Over A Break Up: 5 Tips to Maximize Your Glow Up

1. Make it about you

It really doesn’t matter if the break-up was initiated by you or by your ex.  Once it’s done, make your next steps about you. After all, this is your life. When you are 100 years old, looking back at your life,  you are not going to be able to blame the crapy boyfriend for making you lose your joy and quit all of the things that made you spark.  This is your life and you are responsible for it so when your ex starts to lash out this is not the time to play the victim. Take control of your situation, remove yourself from hostile environments and remind yourself that you deserve better.

When your ex calls begging for you to come back, politely remind them that you are taking time to better yourself and ask them to respect your decision. This is not the time to say to him “you did this, you did that, you didn’t do this, you didn’t do that.” It doesn’t matter at this point, it’s already over and no change will happen if you don’t allow the space, the time, and the growth to make that change happen.

2. Create Space & Clear Boundaries 

Often times when you love a person, it’s difficult to completely remove yourself from all aspects of their lives. This is especially true when social media is involved.  If you find yourself getting emotional over texts, tweets, status updates or whatever else, it may be smart to disconnect from all forms of communication until you can completely heal.

It doesn’t have to be a hostile action. As mention in section 1 above, be pleasant and make this decision completely about you and your growth journey even if the other person is the hostile person. ” I am going to remove myself from your social media because I need time to heal and I find myself emotionally vulnerable when I  see status updates from you,” is an explanation you can offer if you feel the need to give one. However, remember you don’t owe anyone an explanation; this is your life.

Express your need for space and make clear boundaries. Do whatever you have to do to establish those boundaries without breaking them. Be pleasant but take control.  Again this is Your life.

3.  Reconnect with Family/Friend

When was the last time you met your mother or father for lunch? Have you planned a girls night recently? what about visiting your grandmother to help her prepare a meal. When trying to figure out how to get over a break up, time with family and friends can be so healing. Their unconditional love is infectious. You need more of that and quite frankly you need to keep yourself busy and what better way to do that than by watching old movies with mom or shopping trips with your sister. Redefine Netflix and chill.  Family is forever.

4. Embrace Solitude & Find Peace There

Comfort in people or a specific person can be rewarding and has its benefits, especially when you are feeling down, but relying solely on people or a specific person to bring you comfort can be detrimental to your quality of life. Too much isolation can be a sign of depression but finding peace in your alone time is life-changing and empowering. Start loving your own company so much that an addition of another person is a bonus.

Plan quiet lunches or park picnics alone and bring a journal to jot down goals or how you are feeling as a way to clear your mind. Scheduling a movie date by yourself along with a manicure and or pedicure might be the self-care escape that you need. Try it.

5.  Listen & Learn 

A break up is the perfect time to zone in on personal development.  Not only can hearing other people’s stories of resilience help you bounce back but it can also allow you to see things from a different vantage point which can aid in your overall growth. But listening and learning about other’s peoples hard time isn’t the only thing that should grab your attention during this time, you should take this time away from your significant other to learn about whatever it is you feel will move you forward.  If you’ve always wanted to start a business, take this time to learn about that.  If you’ve been meaning to get into mediation, use this time to focus on that.

Audiobooks and podcast should become your best friend when trying to figure out how to get over a break up. Try to listen to them in the car instead of sad music. You can listen to them while going for a run or whenever you need a bit of motivation. The point is to continue to feed your mind and your spirit with uplifting messages that move you forward.

Another great option is to look into seeing a local therapist that will help you sort through your thoughts and map out a plan to move forward. Therapists are great for listing and learning to and from inner self as well as a professional to help you use those thoughts for your growth.