Help… My Man Acts Like A Needy Toddler
He’s great. He provides. He loves me and treats me like his queen. He’s nothing like the other guys that came before him. He makes me laugh. He is everything. I love him but … why does he act like a two year old waiting for mommy to kiss his boo boo. I don’t get it… but there seems to be a pattern to this madness. It only happens on the days that I am most exhausted, annoyed or in need of a break. It’s always that one day when I’ve been dreaming of that extra large glass of wine needed to end my day perfectly and had plans of crashing on the couch with a box of Chinese food and some fuzzy socks. It’s always on that one day when I would rather starve or munch on my toenails than step foot into a kitchen to cook anything. It’s always that day, as soon as my left and right cheeks hit the plushness of the couch that I had so longed for, that I hear… “What you cooking tonight. I mean are you gonna eat anything. I can go get something but….”
Dear God, please grant me the patience needed not to stab this man with the stem of the wine glass that I dreamt of all day. Actually God, just help me not to take me out of my own misery that is a direct result of me not being able to sit here and enjoy my wine… that I dreamt of all day.
I usually take a long deep breath in and pause. “Babe, What have you eaten all day?” … and the conversation goes like this.
HIM: “I mean, I was waiting on you to eat”
Me to HIM: “So you haven’t eaten all day long”
ME to myself: “So, basically you are in capable of feeding yourself? Aren’t you pushing 40.”
HIM: “Nah, I was going to See What You Wanted. ”
Me to HIM: “Oh, why didn’t you ask me if I wanted anything”
Me to Myself: “So all day, you starved yourself because you wanted to see what I want but you never asked me what I wanted”
HIM: “Yea, I mean …I can go order something if you don’t feel like cooking”
Me to Myself: “BECAUSE SITTING HERE ON THIS COUCH WITH MY WINE ISN’T A CLEAR SIGN THAT I DON’T FEEL LIKE COOKING.. SO JUST ORDER SOMETHING GENIUS And Get OUT OF MY FACE”
Dear God. Please help me with the patience I need to be a better woman and control my emotions. I’ve had a long day.
This scenario has happened more often than I’d like to recall. Not to mention that “sick” man that is on his death bed because of minor cough. or the hypochondriac man who thinks every bump on his skin is a malignant tumor. What about the man who needs assistance putting his clothes and toys away because his mom failed at teaching him how to clean up so now it’s my job. What are women supposed to do with the men that we love when they get like this. First… Just breathe.
If your man is anything like mine, confrontation does not bring out the best in him. Since you’ve already had a long hard day, try a few of the following tips to avoid an unnecessary argument.
- Know that you man is only expecting what is considered the “Norm” of the home: If you usually cook gourmet meals without having the “what do you want for dinner” conversation then don’t expect him to just ask you what you want for dinner on your bad day. Instead, talk to him and let him know that you are feeling down that day and may need help with dinner.
- Don’t Expect Him To Read Your Mind: Communication is Key. If you are fed up that you always do the cooking or picking up after him, have that talk with him. Don’t assume he knows. ” Babe it really bothers me when you….. ” and suggest some solutions that might aid in helping break bad habits. Don’t wait until you are angry to have these key convos with you man.
- Realize that YOU are having a bad day and commit to not taking it out on others: Most of the time what bothers you on your bad days does not bother you on any other day. Find way to express your frustrations about whats going on without transferring your anger to him.
- Men Need Attention TOO: Sometimes they like to put away their “hard guy” hats and be babied by us. I might not budge about my desire for him to pick up his own clothes but if he is feeling sick I don’t mind giving him a bit more attention. That’s not the time to remind him of how much pain we go through as women with birthing children and menstrual cramps and calling him names because he crying over a minature cough. Just make him some soup and give him a kiss and just breathe…
- Practice Gratitude: Be thankful for your whining baby of a man who loves you… everyone is not as lucky to have one. Remember, God gave women a different type of strength. It’s the strength required to nurture and make the most out of any situation.
If you know you have a good man… JUST BREATHE!! I understand your pain
If he is not a good one.. JUST BREATHE… and let’s talk about your exit plan
Please tell me I am not the only one. Are you in a relationship with a man who acts like the biggest baby sometimes? How do you handle the situations?