So, it seems like everyone is either engaged or already married and you are sitting single trying to figure out what’s wrong with you.  If one more person post the annoying “I said YES!” photo you might actually kill yourself or hide out in the back of your closet with Ben & Jerry and a huge bottle of wine.  You want to be happy for your friends but the same question of why am I still single is on replay in your head.  We’ve rounded up 10 reasons that might answer that question.

Why You Are Still Single Even Though You’re A Good One

1.  You Believe in This Fantasy Love Life Where Work and Compromise Don’t Exist

It’s not completely your fault. Social media has a way of making people’s lives (especially relationships) look perfect. You’re over here thing Jason and Ashley look amazing with no problems and you strive to be like them. You sabotage potential prospects trying to achieve that relationship from the movies with the fireworks and soft music. The truth is all relationships are hard work and require a choice and a commitment to make them work.

2.     You Put Up Facades In Fear of Being Vulnerable

You put up the biggest front like you are perfect. You show no shines of weakness. You’ve closed off any room for growth in your life because you don’t want to seem like you are capable of being hurt. The prospects in your life might feel like there is no need for them because you act like there is no need for them.

3.     You’re Taking Advice From Way Too Many Single Folks

The saying, “you are who you hang around” is true in many ways but especially in relationships.  Your friends who are still single can’t relate to everything that comes with making relationships work. Single friends, though they mean well, won’t always give you the best advice when it comes to your marriage or relationship. Many of you single friends like that you are single with them, as a result, they may be quick to tell you to dismiss your partner or a prospective partner when you could’ve otherwise worked through a situation.

4.     You Put Yourself On a Pedestal that Is Unreachable

You make it seem like no one is good enough for you. Even the prospects that are putting in their best effort while realizing and accepting the area where is work is needed are turned away by you because you aren’t willing to join them on that growth journey.  You look down at everyone who may be on a different path as you. Your standards are high with no wiggle room. 3.

5. You are Intimidating AF

You literally have it all together… and that is literally hard as shit for anybody trying to date you. Your credit is great, you’re a homeowner, you go to church every Sunday. You meditate, you eat green, and do yoga. Your hair and nails are always snatched.  You are the dream.  If this is you (First, Can I be your friend) you probably need to focus more on being vulnerable (number 2). Let your partner in on what scares you, what worries you. Let them know your dreams and your goals. This will allow them to place themselves purposefully in your life without being afraid.

6.     You Haven’t Made It Clear That A Relationship or Marriage is What  You Want.

Some people, men especially, will take what they can get for as long as they can get it. You are still single because you haven’t made it know to your partner that you don’t want to be. You are not married because you don’t require marriage. Sometimes, “This is nice but when I imagine my life and my future marriage is a necessity for me” is a conversation that must be had.  “I don’t want to be your friend, if that is all you want from me please let me know so that I can move forward without you,” is a necessary conversation.  Make it clear about what you want.

7.     Your Focus on Your Career Trumps Your Interests in a Progressive Relationship

You choose work over the relationship. And it is a choice. We all have the same 24 hours in a day. If you like him/her, make time for him/her. Period… point blank..the end.

8.     You’re Not Willing To Put In the Leg Work- You Flee When Things Get Even A Tiny Bit Hard

When things get hard you go into  “I don’t need this shit” and you flee. The messed up part about this way of thing is, it’s probably true; you really don’t need drama but all good things require hard work and effort. If the issue isn’t tiptoeing on your non-negotiables, don’t play the victim. Instead, try having conversations about what’s bothering you and if possible work through it.

9.     You’re Not Willing to Release Past Hurt and You Bring Old *Ish Into New Relationships.

It’s only natural; the last person hurt you so you want to make sure this next person doesn’t or you completely avoid relationships altogether.  It’s probably best that you take some time to grieve and heal before stepping into the next relationship. Self-growth is a great reason to stay single.  A relationship should be two whole people coming together.

10.     You’re Afraid to Let Down Your Walls.

Fear of failing has ever helped anyone reach a goal.  You need to enter a relationship ready to take on all its challenges and ready to accept the rewards. It won’t be perfect. Human beings are imperfect but it definitely can be beautiful if you both enter it open.